Here's the deal:
We run this site so that people like you
(and people you like) can use it for
personal entertainment, information,
education, communication, and
cybergratification. So go ahead and
browse around all you like. You can even
download stuff from the site but only
for non-commercial, personal use. If you
do, though, don't fool around with the
copyright and other notices all over the
stuff. They're there for a really good
reason. And don't even think about
distributing, modifying, transmitting,
reusing, re-posting, or anything else
uncool with any of the stuff, including
the text, images, audio, and video, for
public or commercial purposes unless we
give you written permission. And it's
not likely we will.
If you visit our site, you're also
legally obligated to [read: stuck with]
the terms and conditions listed below
and any other law or regulation that
applies to the site, the Internet, the
World Wide Web, or Los Angeles, CA. You
shouldn't access or browse the site if
you have any problem with that, because
once you start, there's no turning back
-- you are bound by [read: stuck with]
the terms and conditions.
So here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules
for Cybersurfers who hang out on our
site:
1. For everyone's sake, just assume
that everything on the site is
copyrighted unless we say it's not. So
you can't use the stuff except how we
say you can on this page or anywhere
else on the site without our written
permission. And like we said before,
it's not likely we'll give you
permission anyway. In fact, even if we
wanted to, the lawyers are likely to
veto any deal anyway. So it's better you
don't even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate
stuff on the site, we're not promising
you it's accurate. In fact, we're not
promising you anything except fun and
entertainment. So if you use stuff on
the site, you're using it at your own
risk. Don't call us if there's a problem
because we assume no liability or
responsibility for errors or omissions
on the site.
3. We and anybody else who helped
us create, produce, or deliver the site
are not liable for any damages you
suffer when you use it. In particular,
the lawyers want you to know that our
disclaimer includes "direct, incidental,
consequential, indirect, or punitive
damages arising out of your access to,
or use of, the site. Without limiting
the foregoing, everything on the site is
provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY
OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR
IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO,
THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF
MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may
not allow the exclusion of implied
warranties, so some of the above
exclusions may not apply to you. Check
your local laws for any restrictions or
limitations regarding the exclusion of
implied warranties. " Ugh! What a
mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put
all of that in quotes because we
couldn't figure out any other way to say
it that the lawyers would accept. But
here's the bottom line -- we're not
responsible if you're browsing around
and the site damages you or your
computer or infects it with any nasty
viruses. We sure hope that doesn't
happen, but if it does, don't call us.
4. If you don't want the world to
know something, don't post in on the
site in any bulletin board or anyplace
else. That's because anything you
disclose to us is ours. That's right --
ours. So we can do anything we want with
the stuff you post. We can reproduce it,
disclose it, transmit it, publish it,
broadcast it, and post it someplace
else. We can even send it to your mother
(as soon as we find her address). Not
only that, we can even use any ideas,
concepts, know-how, or techniques you
post any way we want to, including,
developing, manufacturing and marketing
products or other stuff using the
information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places
shown on the site are either our
property or someone else's property
we're using with their permission. No
matter what, it's definitely not your
property. You or any of your net-friends
can't use it unless we said you could on
this page or somewhere else on the site.
And guess what -- we won't say yes. So
be careful, Bunky, because unauthorized
use may violate all sorts of nasty laws.
Be smart, keep the stuff you download to
yourself.
6. There's also a lot of
trademarks, logos, and service marks on
the site that either we own or we're
using with someone else's permission. So
don't think you have any kind of license
or right to use them, because you don't
and we're not about to give you one. If
you don't leave them alone and mess with
our trademarks, logos and service marks
on our site, we'll probably go
ballistic, so will the companies that
own the other trademarks, logos and
service marks. That means that we're
likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor
to come after you for messing around
with our property or the property of
others.
7. You'll probably notice we've
linked our site to lots of others. While
that's cool, it doesn't mean we've
looked at all those sites, much less
checked them out periodically to see
what's going on. So don't blame us if
some site you link to is bad or has
stuff on it that offends you or your
pets. Go ahead and link, but remember,
you're doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on
our own site. While we occasionally
listen in on chat groups, or look at the
posting in our discussion groups or on
our bulletin boards, we take no
responsibility and assume no liability
for the content of those locations or
for any mistakes, defamation, libel,
slander, omissions, falsehoods,
obscenity, pornography, or profanity you
might encounter when you visit such
places on our site. And don't be stupid
by posting or transmitting any unlawful,
threatening, libelous, defamatory,
obscene, scandalous, inflammatory,
pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane
material or any material that law
enforcement types may consider a
criminal offense, get someone in court
on a civil lawsuit, or for that matter
violate any law -- anywhere, anytime.
While we certainly respect your privacy,
we have no choice but to fully cooperate
with any law enforcement authorities or
court which might ask us who might have
posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. Software that we use on this
Site is protected by all sorts of
patriotic U.S. laws. Because of that,
you can't download or send the software
to anyone in the vacation travel spots
of Cuba, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Iran,
Syria, or any other country where United
States has embargoed goods; or (get
this) to anyone on the United States
Treasury Department's list of Specially
Designated Nationals, the U.S. Commerce
Department's Table of Deny Orders, or
the FBI's Most Wanted Internet Creeps
List (just kidding on the last one). As
if that were not tough enough, if you
live in or are a national of any of
those lovely places, you're not even
supposed to be reading this page, so
beat it!
10. We're also allowed to change
this page and anything else on the site
any time we want to. That's because it's
ours and we have the programmers who can
do it. If we do change the page, then
you're bound by [read: stuck with] those
changes, too, whenever you visit our
site.
11. If either of us wants to make
something of it and wants to “sue” (a
dirty word) then we have to follow these
rules of engagement. (sort of according
to the Geneva Convention):
This Agreement is governed by the laws
of the State of Indiana, without regard
to principles of conflict of laws.
To the extent you have in any manner
violated or threatened to violate
Southern-Indiana-Leads.comand/or its
affiliates' intellectual property
rights, Southern-Indiana-Leads.comand/or
its affiliates may seek injunctive or
other appropriate relief in any state
or federal court in the State of
Indiana, and you consent to exclusive
jurisdiction and venue in such courts.
Any other disputes will be resolved as
follows:
If a dispute arises under this
agreement, we agree to first try to
resolve it with the help of a mutually
agreed-upon mediator in the following
location: Harrison. Any costs and fees
other than attorney fees associated with
the mediation will be shared equally by
each of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a
mutually satisfactory solution through
mediation, we agree to submit the
dispute to binding arbitration at the
following location: Harrison, under the
rules of the American Arbitration
Association. Judgment upon the award
rendered by the arbitration may be
entered in any court with jurisdiction
to do so.
If this all sounds kind of mean and
undiplomatic, you should have seen what
the lawyers gave to us in the first
place. We had to remind them that human
torture and sacrifice was outlawed in
the United States. Boy, did they look
disappointed!
March 18, 2008
Extreme-Debt-Makeover.com